I wasn't going to mention this here because it's rather silly, but in retrospect highly amusing.

Last night I went out to a bar with a friend, then stopped off at the park for a natter, after we'd parted company I spotted a group of boys walking towards be looking all hard and tough and manly.

As I passed by one of them snapped “You look gay, do you suck dick!?“

All up in my face and whatnot (sorry, always wanted to say that).

Being the honest soul I am I told them that yes, I had performed fellatio on a member of the same sex, more than once (I'm pretty sure that's actually what I said, I was feeling clever).

At which point one of them punched me in the face, pretty hard.

Someone mentioned today that I should have bit my tongue and proclaimed myself to be a raging heterosexual. As daft as it sounds I'd rather take a punch and be myself.

Between homophobes, accidental drunken headbuttings from friends and Stupid Heads I'm going to be black and blue for the rest of my days.

C'est la vie! Je manque des rapports sexuels.

Soupir.

Cheeky Time, break it down – If we get the house of our dreams there's a chance Noah and I might have to couch-surf for two weeks, it's not available until the 15th of September you see and from the 1st of September we're going to be homeless, w000t.

Would any of you lovely folks be willing to have her/us/me over for a bit? We'd cook and clean and be useful during our stay.